I'm waking up flies
Chain smoking and waiting for
Big Bang of the green
**
Flowers fuck with the
Help from the bees. Mad, sweet buzz.
Thunder is coming
***
The dog is barking
At screaming colors of leaves
Accident on the road
**
13 days of snow
Birds fall down dead from the trees
Olympics on screens
*
Daffodils in our park
Her lips are slow and warm.
Taste of lipstick and beer
Taste of lipstick and beer
12 comments:
this is superb!
many thanx! :)
Very modern. I especially liked the last one.
thanx!
Actually I'm sort of proud this time with what I have done. I've never written haiku before and I did it for exercise. I was trying to comply with the rigid rules of traditional haiku as much as possible. I even checked for the words associated with each season in tradition. I didn't use them however.
It's interesting that you say that they are modern, because I didn't really tried to be modern or something. or I tried? I just used the language and imagery that is natural to me and I did it quiet consciously so maybe I tried in a way.
I'm not sure if they are good haiku as haiku. More likely not. I'm not sure that they really comply with all the rules, and I don't think that it's something like good poetry at all. I'm not really a poet anyway. I do it for the poetry class, attendance to which is compulsory, but I must say I'm starting to enjoy it. Nevertheless I'm glad with it because this time I said what I wanted to say exactly how I wanted to say it, and that's something that does not happens always.
It doesn't really matter to me, that I lost few subscribers to my my feed who apparently dismissed it as crap :)
I'm still trying to figure out (not very seriously however) if there is any Zen-like feeling in them. I'm not sure. But then again what is Zen? Merely attitude towards reality which isn't very real anyway whatever form of objects or thoughts or concepts it takes. Still not sure that there is any Zen, still not sure that I managed to look behind the reality, while still speaking about it. I think that no, but I also think that it's maybe not so important.
well, that's maybe too much talking about them already. Just thanx for the reading again.
I'm really glad if somebody likes my writing.
Any critique is also highly appreciated.
:)
Despite all that i wrote above if somebody wants to say that these haiku are crap. He or she is more than welcome to do it.
It's impossible to hurt my feelings, because I don't have any, and I'm more then open to discussion.
ha ha
I looked at it again and it seems to me that actually I'm using quiet a lot of words traditionally associated with seasons snow and death and autumn leaves to mention just few :)
lol this one is funny
anna :)
Hi there,
I had never heard the term, 'haiku', before. I checked and believe its origins come from Japan.
This is most interesting what you have posted. And you're right, there has a seasonal feel to it.
Thanks for sharing and many thanks for your comment on my blog.
With respect and kindness, Gary
thanx!
I tried to explain something above in the comments, but I'm not sure that I managed to say anything. I'm even contradicting myself all the time. well, I tried to explain the process of writing and why I'm happy with the result even when I didn't manage to do what I initially wanted to do.
but it's true. and honestly I think to myself that they are not so good as haiku or poetry. well, I think they are probably not very, very bad, but it's... you know, if I have some sort of aesthetic or literary vision, I managed to formulate it up there at least for myself. regardless of the quality of the end product as others will see it and even if I maybe won't be writing haiku anymore. I just have the feeling that I'm on the right path in the whole process of writing. That's what probably I tried to say above. Maybe it's something you shouldn't try to explain to anybody. I don't know.
Speaking about haiku, they are strange thing. I always somewhat snubbed haiku. Either writing or reading them. largely because of their high popularity as some sort of creative pastime for certain classes of western civilization. Like it was laughed at in Fight Club.
but yeah it originated in Japan. and like all things Japanese it's reglamented by very strict rules. it's not just the syllables that count. despite that it looks easy at first sight it's actually extremely hard to write good haiku. I mean those guys who wrote those famous haiku in 17 century probably spent all their lives to write a couple of very simple lines. And it's also deeply in their culture which is not mine and which is of course much more than my superficial and arguable if not absolutely incorrect definition of Zen philosophy and aesthetics given above :)
I spent just few hours.
Anyway I don't take them so seriously as it might appear to somebody from my extensive comments on my own work. Still trying to formulate a lot of things for myself :)
Oh this is exquisite. So delicate in its simplicity yet thought provoking in its imagery. I walk away happy. :)
thanx
Oh bravo! Enjoyed reading it, especially the last one is enough nice to celebrate spring cheer:)
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